Are You Hiding From Yourself?

My husband and I watched a movie about an assassin who hid this aspect of her life from her family. The movie was good, but it did give me some food for thought. This character was hiding from her family and wasn’t being truthful, she may have been protecting them and doing what she felt was best. Hiding this part of her would have been difficult but in a way she was hiding from herself too. This was a secret she wasn’t willing to be open about admitting who she really was.

When we go to work each day, we do our job as best we can. For some of us we bring all of who we are to the role. But for others there is a clear work and home persona, it could be for a number of different reasons, but we are not able to let go and be ourselves 100% of the time. There is nothing wrong with not giving your full self away, but as long as you know who you are and are true to you.

Now think about your home life, when you are cooking or watching tv or cleaning, do you pop music on and dance around or answer the door in your Pj’s at the weekend without a care in the world? Do you have a tatty old hoody that you wear but wouldn’t dream of wearing out and about. Can you be yourself all the time at home and hide nothing from you or your family? When your front door closes are you letting go of an external persona to allow the true you to shine through, all of which you are happy with.

Now you have had a chance to think about it, how much of the real you goes with you when you leave your house? Does it depend where you go? Why hide the real you from you as well as others? You might not realise or think you are hiding from yourself but are doing so from other people. But the truth is, a part of you is holding back on being you as you are afraid.

So what, if anything, are you hiding from yourself or are you afraid of? Maybe you don’t like your true sense of style, or think others will laugh and think it may be too hippy dippy or boho. So you dress classically instead with suits and tailored fitted clothes to portray the persona you want people to believe in. You pull a dress out of the wardrobe but put it back as although you love it, it is not who you are or what you feel you should wear. But hang on, if you love it, then wear it.

You may have a reason to be hiding from yourself. It might be you don’t want to admit something and have this fear. But think about what it is you are worried about or afraid of finding out. Is there something you don’t want to admit to yourself in case it doesn’t work out or you fear failure?

It’s one thing to be your authentic self to others and that can be tricky to do in itself. But to be honest with yourself and be ok with it, can be a whole different ball game. So think about why you feel you are holding back with yourself, write it down. Write all your thoughts or reasons down and take a look at them. Are they all true? Are some of them unfounded and really just a thought or fear that hasn’t happened yet? Is this just you hiding from the world?

Give yourself permission to be you, the full authentic you for a day or even just a few hours if it makes you feel uncomfortable. What is it you really want to show yourself you could do or be or try? Do this just for you. Going back to the clothes example, you currently dress how you think you should to be accepted, And whilst you feel comfortable, you know in your heart these are not the clothes you would love to wear. Would showing the real you to yourself, make it easier to introduce this side of you to the rest of the world? If you can accept who you are then others will too. Do you feel you are letting yourself or others down if you were to make this change? Are you holding onto unrealistic expectations?

Being yourself should be the easiest thing for us to do. But we struggle sometimes to show who we are to others and often feel we should hide behind another persona. This results in us being less honest with ourselves and we start to believe our altered persona is the truth.

The next time you pull an item of clothing out of your wardrobe or act in a certain way. Ask yourself if this is the true you and who you want to be or if you are putting on a persona because you feel you should. Let go of hiding from yourself and show you, who you are and want to be.

Thank you for reading and have a wonderful week.

Take care and look after you.

Love Emma xx