Accepting Help

How do you feel about helping others? Are you happy to help, but unsure what to do, that’s ok, you don’t need to have all the answers. All you need to do is listen to what is or isn’t being said and offer up your advice and support. You can also ask them directly if they need help as they may need you to listen to allow them to get things off their chest. The type of help you can offer will depend on the situation.

Put yourself in the persons shoes. How does it feel? Would you want someone to help if you were in the same situation? And what help would be beneficial?

Are you good at accepting help from people or do you prefer to manage by yourself? Perhaps you think you should but don’t want others interfering? At work we provide support as needed whether it is part of your job or not. If we see someone struggling, we do what we can to help. It might be as simple as holding a door open for a colleague as they carry boxes, or listening to a friend when they are going through a difficult time.

Has a friend or colleague said to you, ‘I don’t think you are coping’ or ‘is everything ok as you seem stressed out’? When someone points this out to us, we may be upset or it could make us stop and think. Are we in denial? Have you been thinking you’ve been doing a great job covering up how you were coping? But in reality, those that know you well can see you are struggling.

If help is offered in this situation do you take it? For many different reasons, it can be difficult to accept help. Are you stubborn? Proud? Or maybe you are happy to do it alone and prefer to figure it out. Are you feeling ashamed, worried or embarrassed? When really there is no need to be as we all need help at some point in our lives.

The biggest issue can be telling people you are struggling and need help. You think your situation is silly or so terrible no one will want to help. But you never know unless you ask. The worst they can do is say no, but what is the likelihood of that happening?

I was at work and a colleague came into my office to say she didn’t think I was my normal self and hadn’t been for weeks. I was taken aback, I knew I hadn’t been, and had felt very stressed and overwhelmed but had really thought I had done a brilliant job of covering it up. Clearly I hadn’t.

When I spoke with my manager and went over my to do list, it was not as bad as I first thought. Talking it over helped me to see I was doing the right things and was not expected to be finished. We had a good chat and I knew I was going to speak with my manager and change how I was working as I couldn’t continue in the stressed zone.

Once you have said your problems out loud and asked for help, it can be a great release to get this off your chest. Your situation may not be as bad as you think. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved. Most people will genuinely help you in times of need. Your close friends and family are definitely going to want to help when you need it most.

Often we struggle to tell those close to us, as we feel we should be able to manage it all. Accepting help from someone is always a challenge, a little bit of you feels like you shouldn’t need to get help, regardless of the situation. But is it realistic? Some situations are not going to be solved by just you. When you need help, ask for it, accept the help when given and acknowledge yourself for reaching out and thank the people for their help.

Whether you are accepting help from others or are offering to help someone, we all need to have patience, understanding and acceptance of the situation. Most people who are willing to help are not looking for payback, they do it as they don’t want to see you suffer, or know it will be quicker with two people rather than one.

As hard as it can be to accept help, if someone came to you in the same situation, I’m sure you wouldn’t hesitate to offer up support, so accept it when offered.

Thank you for reading, have a lovely week and look after you.

Love Emma xx