Build A Bridge & Connect

Walking across the Forth Road Bridge yesterday my friend and I enjoyed the cool breeze and the views. There were multiple people walking in both directions, lots of cyclists, couples and groups. Whilst it was a good day, the sun was being kept at bay by the clouds. Ideal conditions to walk over as not cold or windy apart from the occasional cool breeze.

The bridge takes about 25 minutes to cross, not long. As you cross you can see the rise in the middle that perhaps you wouldn’t notice whilst in a vehicle. Until you walk over it, you really don’t appreciate the scale. Viewing from a distance it is impressive but walking across it – wow you really can’t believe how tall it is and how high from the river it is.

Bridges are wonderful structures, connecting one place to another that isn’t easily accessible any other way to a mass of people. Thinking about how bridges connect, and your personal life, is there anyone you would like to build a bridge with that perhaps you have lost contact with or fell out with?

Maybe now is the time to let bygones be bygones and build a bridge to connect. To help you here are my five tips to help you connect:

• Reflect – What happened in the past? What was it that got you to this point with this person? Can you forgive? Do you think they can? Or maybe you haven’t fallen out, but instead just drifted apart. Think about how much time has passed? Has time healed the problem? Is the issue you fell out over really still important? If it is, how do you feel about it now? Is it still as raw for you? Could you see yourself apologising or is an apology even needed? Think about what you miss about this person and why having them back in your life would be good. Maybe you have recently realised life is too short to hold a grudge. But not everyone would be open to forgive or forget, but you can take the first step and try.
• Reach out – After spending time thinking and reflecting on the situation, choose a good time to reach out to the person. What would the best method be? A what’s app message or an email or you might think a handwritten letter would be well received. Make sure your message is clear about moving forward and why you have chosen to reach out now. You never know this person may be keen to make things right with you.
• Meet up – this may be further down the line, you may need to build your bridge a lot before you are ready to take this step. But when the time is right you will know that taking the next step is natural. Taking the time to say hello face to face and start putting the past behind you may be easier than you thought.
• Don’t give up – If things haven’t gone to plan or they have refused to forgive or forget, don’t give up. Take a moment to think about what it is they are saying, why they aren’t willing to move on and what is it they want? If it is something you can understand or are happy to do to help your relationship great, but if you need more time, that’s ok, take the time you need. The fact you have reached out and have started to build a bridge is enough. These situations can take days to years to unpick and get to a good place, so be understanding of the other person as well as be kind to you. You started the process so be proud you have set the wheels in motion. Keep pushing forward as best you can to get to the end result you want.
• Know when to walk away – This is a contradiction on don’t give up, however, there may be times when it is right to walk away or to leave the issue in the past. Some things are too hurtful or hard to explore. You have to think about your mental health in these situations. If you’ve reached out and tried but it doesn’t feel right or it isn’t working, then know you tried your best and it is ok to walk away. Hold your head high.

Building bridges with people is never easy, it takes a lot of time, energy and a good foundation to build upon. It doesn’t happen overnight so be kind to yourself, listen to the other person and take it slow.

Thank you for reading, have a great week and if you ever find yourself in the Edinburgh area, then I highly recommend walking over the Forth Road Bridge.

Enjoy making connections.

Love Emma xx