Stressed? Overwhelmed? Burnt-out?

Stress, burnout and hiding under the duvet – this is becoming more common amongst us humans.

Life is hard, there are no easy routes, some people are more lucky whilst others may look at you thinking you have the easy ride, deep down you know you’d trade your life any day for theirs. We are great at covering up how we really feel. Suffering alone and putting on a brave face.

Where are you mentally and physically just now? How are you feeling? If you are completely honest with yourself, are you happy? Or are you feeling stressed? Overwhelmed? Out of control?

You may feel by answering those questions you are unleashing an almighty can of worms that really is best left closed up. Well, what good is it doing you? Keeping all these thoughts, feelings, stresses, wishes, goals, needs, wants all locked up, isn’t healthy.

But where or how to start when you have so much going on you feel overwhelmed and stressed? That duvet is calling your name and you just want to hide.

Start with you

Start with yourself. This is your life and only you can truly know how you are feeling and what is going on in your head.

Make a list, don’t try to organise it as you write your thoughts down, get everything out of your head and onto paper. There is no time limit, this could take 20 minutes or it could take hours. Keep writing or typing until you have nothing left to say.

Organise

Once you have your list or paragraphs of writing. Read through it. Is there a common theme? Is there one thing you keep saying over and over but in different ways? Perhaps you have noticed a few different thoughts or issues or ideas, colour code them to help you see what you have noted down. If you repeat the same phrase over and over, this means something. To you it might seem like you are annoyed or angry but if it keeps coming up then it is clearly important, so don’t discount it.

Re-organise

Now you have your common themes, reorganise it so they are altogether. Read them again under there new headings to check if all makes sense. If you need to rejig, go for it. You may find some thoughts or issues fit into two places, that’s ok just duplicate them. As you go on, it may become clearer where it should sit, or in fact it could have an impact on a few areas in your life, so being in a few places is correct or you.

Breathe

Don’t forgot to keep breathing as you do this. We hold our breaths when you are stressed or tense, but stop every so often and take 5 slow deep breaths in and make the out breath longer.

What you are currently doing, can make you realise the impact certain things are having on your life, noting it all down, can come as a surprise as reality sets in. But keep breathing.

Priorities

Listing every area in your life or specific points in your life you feel is an issue or causing you pain, may make everything seem like a priority to fix. This isn’t going to be practical and will add more stress and strain to your vulnerable state. As hard as it is, number each point as a priority, with one being the most important to deal with now, regardless of how challenging it is.

You may find as you work through each point, you also solve another or partially help if it is interlinked. Great. Keep going.

Help

Before you continue on, make sure you ask for help if needed, this could be from friends, family, doctor, therapist, your manager, colleague or an expert in the area you are struggling with.

Stop and Listen

Now you have all your points written down, prioritised, have asked for any help you need. Stop and listen.

When you look at your list how does it make you feel now? Do you feel you can start an action plan to reduce the overwhelm feeling by going through the list point by point? It’s not always easy starting, but just start.

Priority One

This will likely be the most challenging. It may involve a difficult conversation or a realisation of an ending or change in career or asking your manager for a career break before you completely burnout.

No matter what your number one priority is, it is your priority. It is up to you whether you share it with others. But don’t let anyone make it feel less than what it means to you. They will have different priorities. The aim is to feel less stressed, overwhelmed and burnt-out. Stay focused on priority one.

Continue through your list

You set the time limit, but don’t be hard on yourself to complete in a week, some things may take months or even years. Work out a time frame to suit you. If this is about work, speak with your manager to help improve things in a timely manner.

Work through each point, until you are satisfied you have completed, solved or eradicated the issue. Be aware you may not be able to “fix” everything, but improvements to get you to a good place is a start and may be all you need.

Re-visit

Check in with yourself regularly, repeat the exercise you did at the start of writing everything down of the inner dialogue in your head. Notice what has changed? Has anything new appeared? Is it more manageable than before?

The aim is for you to feel in control of what is happening. Do you feel improvements are being made and your mind and body are less exhausted, overwhelmed and stressed? If the answer is yes, great, you are making good progress. If not, don’t worry, repeat the exercise as needed and don’t give up.

Be proud

Always be proud of how far you have come. It takes a lot to admit there is an issue or you are feeling unable to cope. Hold your head high and know you are doing a great job of reclaiming control of your own life, work, mind and body.

At some point in our lives, we all feel like things are spiralling, the key is to realise when it is happening and take control. By working through what’s on your mind, and taking steps to help, will help you recognise the signs when you are not coping allowing you to take action sooner.

Thank you for reading, be kind to yourself and look after you.

Love Emma xx