Just Ask For Help

Do you want to close your eyes, open them and your stresses and worries have gone? All the work has been done, you have no concerns and you are staring out onto a beautiful sunrise or sunset?

Unfortunately, it usually isn’t as easy as that! It takes work, and sometimes pain to move on and through your stresses and worries.

Take a moment and think about what you have on your plate, have you got a lot of work worries or tasks to do that feel impossible in this moment? Are they weighing on your mind throughout your day, when you are at work, and you find yourself unable to actually do any work as you just don’t know what to do first? Or perhaps you have a lot to organise for Christmas and lots of presents to buy but you’re not sure how you are going to do it this year. You were put on furlough or lost your job due to the Covid situation and things aren’t as easy as they once were…..and in reality, you are thinking, never mind the presents, how on earth am I going to put food on the table! These worries we have are genuine and difficult to overcome in a day and sometimes, we just don’t want to ask for help, we feel we should be able to do this on our own. We think everyone else is managing so why aren’t we?

Firstly, cut yourself some slack, breathe and really have some time to think about things practically and logically. Write it down or type it up, what is going on for you, what are you struggling with? Do you know what you want to do to fix it? If so is it realistic and achievable? Don’t set yourself up for failure.

You can’t magically wish money out of thin air so what can you actually do now to move forward? Can you ask for help? If so who could help you? Maybe a family member or a friend. Or perhaps a local food bank. Don’t let your pride get in the way of asking for support, there is definitely no shame in it. You’ve got to eat and if this help is available then take it. That’s what food banks are there for. If it helps to take away the strain of wondering where your next meal is coming from then take advantage of it. I’m sure many family members would offer support to you, if they knew what was going on, Whether it’s lending you some money or with meals to ensure you and your family are eating well.

What about presents? Well, never be afraid to tell those you usually give to that this year, things are different and you won’t be doing gifts. If people value you as a friend or relative, they won’t care. Whilst gifts are great, no one should be struggling just so Aunt Jackie won’t be grumpy and gets her usual beauty products! As for your children’s presents, have a look around for second hand toys or gifts, there is always someone selling items and there are a lot of charity shops around that have toys in good condition. Why not do a toy swap with other parents in your area or even just your friends, if they have kids older or younger than yours, what can you give them and what can they give you. Many toys kids play with are used for such a short time, that really they will be in good nick and who cares if it doesn’t have a box, you can always re-use a another one, decorate with wrapping paper or even brown paper and then do some potato prints on it, making it fun and more intriguing to open!

What about the work situation. Well, when we feel overwhelmed and unsure what to do, then this sounds like a time to chat with a colleague or your manager. If you don’t know where to start, asking for pointers is perfectly acceptable. Priorities can change daily and when this happens a lot and everyone is shouting for things, trying to keep up can be impossible.

So chat to your manager about potential solutions, what can be left until a later date, find out what is important to work on right now. What is urgent and what can be delegated…if you’ve got one person or a team of people, then delegate the tasks you can. It will take the load off you and will encourage their learning as well. Win win.

But if this isn’t the case and/ or you have an unsupportive boss, then I suggest you try different ways of working over the course of a month, pick a way to split your day or week whether it’s in hourly slots or half days, but break down all you have to do and schedule time in your day to do each task. You have to be a bit flexible to include time for interruptions but see what works for you. If you are unsure what I mean, for example one week you could be general and say the morning you will do email and the afternoon project work, the second week could be scheduling time in your diary for each task you have to do, etc.

There are so many ways to organise your day and you have to find something that works for you. Priorities change and often being flexible is key, but it can be tough when they keep altering and you can’t keep up, so find a solution that works for you. You may need to experiment to find one that eases the pressure and lets you work in a more favourable way.

We all need help from time to time. Asking for it, can often be the hardest thing to do. But more often than not, you won’t be the only one. You aren’t alone, so whether it’s a work thing or money/food issues, talk to someone, please. There is always a solution, we often just need a little help to find the right solution for us.

Have a great week, take care and remember ask for help if you need it, think about how you would feel if a friend or relative was struggling and asked you for help. I’m sure you wouldn’t hesitate to help in some way.

Look after you! Love Emma xx 😍🌼