We often have a problem or issue which we ponder over, and whether it’s a large issue, or a wee head pickler, you need time to think things through. But we can spend too long going over and over the issue without moving forward. What can we do? The way we approach a challenge or problem can have an impact on the outcome. If we labour over it for ages, it can feel like it’s never ending and can seem bigger than it actually is. Whereas if we make a plan and tackle it head on, then we can resolve it or come up with a solution without a lot of to-ing and fro-ing in our minds.
I’ve come up with a simple way for you to look at and solve or work through a predicament or obstacle. It’s a three day approach and it’s about giving yourself the time (but not too much you become overwhelmed) and space to think things through. See what you think below.
Day 1 – What is the problem?
This may be obvious, but quite often we have an issue and it isn’t just about one thing, it can be an accumulation of many. Write down your problem and then continue to note down any other issues you feel are connected to it, there is no limit here, so get everything out of your head and down on paper or wherever you like to make notes. It can be difficult to see things in writing as it makes it real but it’s a great first step to tackling any issue. Perhaps you’ve made lots of notes and realise the main issue isn’t what you initially thought. Once you are done and no longer have anything else to write, put your notepad away and leave it. Your job for day 1 is done!
Day 2 – What can you do about it?
After having written your problems down yesterday and left it overnight, grab your notes and have a quick read over and add in anything else you feel is necessary. But keep it short as today is about solutions. Grab your pen and work through each issue. But what do I do? you may be asking. Well, start with any problems which you know can be solved easily. Write the issue on your paper, then pop a circle round it and draw lines off it where you write your solutions, don’t hold back, put down anything that comes to mind. The idea is to get as many possible answers to your issue. If you’ve spoken to your partner or friend about your problems ask them for some solutions as well. A problem shared is a problem halved after all!
Once you have a list of problems and solutions, take a look, score out and discard any solutions that are not practical. Whilst winning the lottery would be great to solve money issues, it’s not a reliable answer. I’m not saying it isn’t feasible as someone has to win, however, be realistic. I’m sure you will have many possible solutions and possible outcomes. There will likely be one result that you will connect to the most, so go with it, connect to your gut instinct and follow. Now put your paper and pen away! Great work today!
Day 3 – Take action
This is the day to start your journey out of your problems. I know it may seem overwhelming and scary, but you have taken some great steps so far and this is the day where you can begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Looking at your problems (maybe you only have the one), but select the one causing you the most distress and concern. Start with this one. The solution you selected yesterday, write it at the top of the page. Then break it down. It doesn’t have to be in order it, but what steps will you have to take to be successful in solving your issue? Looking at the list, select the one which will begin your journey to being stress free. This is what you do today.
Do not put pressure on yourself to do everything today. Do one stage at a time and aim to do them daily, if you can, but note some steps may require longer to achieve – so no pressure. Be realistic about how long it will take to solve a problem. Getting yourself out of debt is not something that can be done overnight. So be kind to yourself and take small steps to get there and by all means set yourself a target date, but be flexible. If you find you are falling behind or the pressure is building. Stop. Go back to your timeline and flex it. Move it out, quite often we underestimate how long it takes to do things. So update often. No one is superhuman and the journey to getting yourself into a good place and solving your problems takes time. Feel good and be proud of every step you take.
These steps can be repeated anytime and anytime in the process. Treat it as a work in progress, not all solutions will pan out as expected, so maybe you have to go back to day 2 and write another list of possible solutions and pick the best one that works for you now.
We are all capable to help ourselves with problems, but often we don’t know where to begin. This 3 day approach is a great starting point. It will help you take things a step at a time and hopefully help to reduce any overwhelming or anxious feelings you have. Get help when you need to, don’t be ashamed, afraid or embarrassed to ask for help. You are not alone.
I hope you all have a good week and are truly enjoying the spring days. Take care and look after you!
Love Emma xxx
Wellbeing with Relaxing Lavender 