I’m sure you will have seen the movie Dirty Dancing, Baby, the main character is a strong confident girl, who stands up for what she believes and is treated like a kid by her parents and her sister – hence the name Baby. It may be they are trying to protect her from the world but she is a bright girl and does what she feels is right. By the end of the movie the parents and Baby are watching a talent show which her sister is singing (terribly) in. She is sitting in the corner not being allowed to shine. In walks Johnny Castle played by Patrick Swayze and utters the famous line ‘Nobody puts Baby in the corner’ he takes her hand and eagerly go up to the stage! Cue the finale! Anyway, if you’ve not seen it….go watch it now!
Are you being put in the corner by someone? Are you being treated like you are less than or being dampened down by a friend, partner or work colleague? It can often be a slow process to get to this stage, so you don’t notice it happening. But before you realise, you’re not as confident as you used to be or as shiny. That sparkle you once had has now gone dull but worse, you are starting to believe you are not capable of so many things, whereas before you would have jumped at the challenge.
How do you get out of this? Once you realise it is happening, then speak up. When a work colleague says, ‘I’ll do that as you will likely make mistakes like last time’. Then explain to them, we all make mistakes and you would relish the chance to try again. Maybe when you go out with friends, you’re the one left holding the bags when they go dance the night away. One time you were happy to look after the bags and now they all assume you will continue to do it. The next time it happens, quickly say, ‘last one to the dance floor buys the next round’! Don’t give them the chance to leave you with all their possessions. Or let them know you want to dance, at the start of the night.
If your boss is constantly overlooking you for the more meatier pieces of work or isn’t listening to your ideas, then have a chat. Tell them. Then give examples of what you have achieved previously and ask for a chance to show them how capable you are. You wont be able to grow if you aren’t given a chance to try, so be confident and explain how keen you are to learn more.
Perhaps you are the one who is putting yourself in the corner, you are the one holding yourself back. Eek! Imagine that! Are you afraid to shine? Why? Are you allowing others to do the things you really want because you lack the confidence to do so? We are often held back because of fear, what if? What if you fail? Well try, because failing is a positive step in getting to success, it gives you an opportunity to give things a go, see what works and what doesn’t. You can adapt and continue on the path you want. You want to be able to say you at least gave it a go, otherwise you will be left wondering if you could.
For example if you wanted to retrain and be a nurse, as it’s always something you’ve been interested in, but you keep coming up with ‘what if’s’, doubts and ‘I can’t do that’ and then you watch a friend just go for it. They quit their job, maybe move house, downsizing to help them afford being back in further education, but they are loving it! They don’t regret any of it and are confident it will all work out. You are watching someone else live your dream. It’s like you are waiting for someone to give you a push and say ‘it will all work out’ but that person has to be you. Be confident in yourself, know that you have it within you, to pull yourself out of the corner and be the most amazing you possible.
We are all a little scared of trying new things, or giving up what we have, but to do something you’ve always wanted to do, wouldn’t it be worth the risk? So what, if after 6 months you decide it isn’t for you – at least you went for it and now know. But paths chosen that don’t work, always lead to something else, giving you a new path to go on. It’s often more about what you have to give up, rather than what you will likely gain. Have a think!
Whether it is your friends, family, manager or even you that keeps putting yourself in the corner, make a stand, you are worth so much more. You are valid, you are strong and you are the best person to decide what is or isn’t right for you now and in the future.
So, (if you’ve seen the movie you’ll get this) get yourself up on that stage and dance, take the spotlight and show everyone you’re a shining star!
Thank you for reading and thank you to all that follow me. I really appreciate it.
Have a great week, take care and look after you.
Love Emma xxx
Wellbeing with Relaxing Lavender 