Managing Expectations

Everyone has expectations and have likely been let down. Over the last few weeks this has cropped up several times, although minor examples, I wanted to share with you to show that on a daily basis our hopes can be dashed, but most of the time, it really doesn’t matter, Time heals, we move on and perhaps we don’t even notice.

One evening a few weeks ago, I went on a walk with my friend. We decided to go somewhere neither of us had been. It was a journey of many parts, always on a path but at times, it was a sand path, dirt path, walking through the heather, stumbling up a hill and trying to follow vague directions.

One part of the walk took us past some small waterfalls. Great, we were both looking forward to seeing them. We expected it to be a small but beautiful. When we got there, it took us a moment to realise we were actually looking at the waterfall. The reason being, it was the week of the crazy hot weather. There was but a trickle of water running over the edge. It was like someone had left a tap running at slow speed.

Regardless of this, despite being disappointed, it was good to see it differently. I mean, how many people have seen it that way? And with there being little water, the small stream was easy to walk through as we could step around the water easily and climb up the other side, rather than have to turn around and go another way. Plus, I’m sure one day I will go back and it will be a sight to behold, every day it will look slightly different, what’s not to love. I still took a photo of them, the waterfalls that never were.

In my role at work, I screen a lot of CV’s for various jobs. My colleague was sending the rejections email out to a few as they were not right for the role. Normally, we get no responses to these emails. Bizarrely we got a few replies. Not asking for feedback but two completely opposite responses.

One said ‘please give me another chance’. I did take a look over the CV again, but unfortunately my initial thoughts were confirmed. They didn’t have what we were looking for. I felt sorry for the person, I couldn’t make a job up for them. But they had either got their hopes up they could do the role and were a match or they were desperate and struggling to get a job. I’ve been in this persons shoes, the likelihood is we all have. We just need a chance.

Another response said ‘Your loss, I’m brilliant’. Well it is an unusual response, but clearly they were sure they would be invited to an interview, were disappointed they weren’t and their expectations were not met.

When you get rejected time after time for jobs, it really gets to you. You start questioning your capabilities and skills. But never give up. If you see a role that you want to do, don’t just send your cv and hope it works. Instead, think about what our expectations are as a CV reviewer. You need to meet most of the criteria and explain why you do. Write a covering letter that touches on many of the points in the job description and why you are suited. Tailor your CV so me, as the reviewer can see why you fit the role. If you meet our expectations, then we will meet yours and invite you to interview.

For the last few years, my friend and I have been trying to book onto a hot air balloon ride which my friend got as a gift. But we have booked 4 times now and 4 times it has been cancelled due to weather. We can’t help the weather and what can we do.

The first time, we were very disappointed, we had stayed overnight near the site, and were looking forward to it. Our expectations were not met, so we enjoyed the time there and went for a walk instead. The second time we got our hopes up and again we were disappointed. The third time, we didn’t think it would really happen and spent the afternoon being kids in an arcade, we weren’t too bothered. The fourth time which was yesterday, we were both doing other things, and had zero expectations. When it was cancelled, it had no impact on us whatsoever.

Expectations. We have them, often without realising. When they aren’t met, we can be sad, disappointed, upset and possibly angry. But when they are (and possibly exceeded), we are elated, happy, jumping for joy, pleased. Perhaps the next time your expectations are set, try not to get so focused on things going your way. Yes be hopeful that they will, but almost have a contingency plan if they don’t go your way to help alleviate any disappointment.

Disappointment happens to us all. It’s how we deal with it that is important. If only we could all just throw ourselves to the ground and have a tantrum like a toddler we may get over it quicker. Take a moment and gather your thoughts and think of your next move. Don’t forget to breathe.

Have a lovely week and look after you.

Love Emma xx

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