On Friday, I went to work at my usual time, and when I got to the hallway outside the office, I thought I heard a bird. I listened more, but no sound. As the day progressed a colleague said he could hear a bird, so we went to investigate and sure enough you could hear a bird in the roof chirping away. It hadn’t moved around so we thought it was potentially trapped and had fallen in through the roof.
We chatted about what we could do and first thing we called the SSPCA to ask them. They were helpful and said, we need to get up into the roof to check if it is trapped or if it has built a nest and is living it’s life. We were told if there is a nest we have to leave it and they couldn’t do anything as legally it has to be left alone. So if it is a nest then the birds can clearly get in and out so are not trapped. Another colleague went up to have a look and yep sure enough there was a bird in a nest so we have to leave it.
This bird is living it’s best life and is free to come and go as it pleases whereas we saw it as being trapped in the roof.
How are you feeling? Is there any areas in your life where you are feeling trapped and want to be free? Is your career in a rut? Do you feel like you can’t move forward or even sideways or change direction completely as you are too deep into what you are currently doing and switching careers just seems like a monumental mountain to climb so staying put is far easier?
Perhaps you are in a relationship and everything is good, you have children, a house and a full life together but you aren’t feeling it anymore and want to break free and live your own life. However the upheaval and upset you would cause would be gigantic and you keep telling yourself to just ride it out until the kids are older and then you can break free.
Whatever your circumstances and the reasons behind feeling trapped, let’s take a look at what you can do to help get clarity to then make a plan to move forward.
Take yourself out of your day to day normality. Go to a coffee shop or sit in a park in the open, breathing in the fresh air. Whether you want to use a laptop or phone or a notepad to take notes it doesn’t matter. It needs to work for you.
Settle into your spot, take three slow deep breaths before you start.
First of all write down the situation causing you to feel trapped. You can do this in anyway you wish. You could do a bullet point list, single words, a paragraph. It doesn’t matter how you write it, just get the main points down. It is important not to rush through this, really think it through.
Once you have written this down, single out what has changed and over what timescale. Has this been recent or has it been over a longer timeframe. At what point for you did it move from being the norm to feeling trapped? You may discover it has been years or it could be a few weeks. Is there a moment or significant event that happened causing you to feel this way? As before, take your time.
Next think about the people involved (if there is anybody) has your manager recently changed and you no longer have the support you once had or perhaps a new colleague has arrived and has turned things on it’s head making you question your current capabilities or worse your career choice. If it is a family matter, what is your partner doing or not doing causing you to feel trapped? Is it about them or is it you? Has your feelings changed or have their feelings changed towards you causing you to feel stuck?
Finally, write down what your ideal outcome is. What do you want to happen going forward. If you could change your life now, what would it look like? Be honest and realistic with yourself. You can have an outcome, but know it could take longer than you think to get to that point. But stay focused on what you want and don’t want, being flexible as you need.
Exploring what has changed to make you feel trapped, who is involved and when you started feeling this way will give you a bit of clarity to see what the next course of action will be to help you get to your desired outcome.
For the next steps, getting to where you want to be may require you to have difficult conversations, make decisions you never thought you would have to make. Particularly in a break up situation, be patient as it may be a shock to them. Don’t give up on your chosen path, if you no longer want to feel trapped and you know the way out, then persevere. It may be a struggle but you will get there. Ask for support when you need it.
It is certainly not easy to make a change from feeling trapped to being free. These questions will not be easy to answer and the next stage may push you to your limits, but by taking some time to look deep within you, will help to set yourself free and no longer feel trapped.
Thank you for reading, take care and fly free.
Love Emma xx
Wellbeing with Relaxing Lavender 