A Goodbye Letter To Kitkat

This weekend has been difficult, on Friday we had to say farewell to our cat Kitkat. She was amazing, lovely, grumpy, happy and sleepy as well as squishy and adorable. In January she would have been 19, she lived with us from when she was a year and a half. So to have had her for over 17 years was truly special. We were very lucky.

This is my goodbye letter to my girl:

Dear Kitkat,

You might have left but you are part of my heart forever and always.

I am sorry you were struggling at the end. It was hard to see you this way. Whilst you were mostly sleeping throughout your life, you were always loud and let us know when you were wanting something – whether it was food, treats, attention or you had gone out in the rain and was soaking and desperately needed dried. I always laughed when you went out and it was raining – your main aim was just to get wet so you could get dried. You were a chancer. But it always worked.

You had us wrapped around your finger for sure. Treats on demand when you sat there meowing either beside the drawer in our bedroom where they were and anytime I went into the drawer you would reach out a paw towards the drawer waiting for treats to magically appear – which more often than not they did, I mean I could never resist your wee face.

I loved it when we had Dreamies for you – before you were deaf, we had to be so quiet taking it out of the shopping bag as you could hear the crinkle of the packet or the shake of the tub. You would appear before we could blink and there was no way we could get away with not giving you any.

It was similar when it came to tuna, the crack of a tin opener or the pull of the ring on the can, you would magically appear and we would lose some of the tuna to you. We never begrudged it, more than happy to oblige.

I know when your kidneys weren’t great and there was concerns we stripped your diet from all the fun things, but thankfully we could still give you treats which were kidney friendly, however after a while we had to mix with Dreamies so you still be interested. At the end, after a long hiatus, we bought Dreamies so you could have them, but your body couldn’t eat as many as previously and you were struggling to swallow, but you took them. The same with tuna, where you would normally do anything and eat it as fast as you could, this last week, we mixed your medication in with it, you would take most of the day to eat it.

You weren’t well my wee toot and I am so sorry we had to say goodbye. The timing whilst it was never going to be right, we couldn’t see you struggle anymore. Your back legs had given up and for the last day, you were not able to move around well. There were so many things wrong that when you added them up, your poor wee body just wasn’t coping. You tried though girl, you did so well to the very end. I think you knew the last few days were your last.

I will miss your purrs so much. Your purrs were so loud. But we always knew you were happy and content. The amount of live photos I have of you where you are purring is crazy. But it is wonderful to revisit and still hear you. The same with your meows. Wow you could wake us up or make us jump of the sofa to check you were ok. But you always were. You just loved to make a noise and announce your arrival in a room.

One of the best things, you always made us feel great. Walking into a room and if you spotted us you would lift your head and meow. Coming back from holiday – even if it was just for a night, your meow would lift my heart. Your joy in seeing us return, made us smile and be happy to be home. It is hard walking into a room and you not being there.

Whilst towards the end you were less vocal, your purrs still went on and whether it was to self soothe or not, whenever we stroked you, the purring would come and we could feel the love.

I could go on, there are so many memories I have of you and I’ll miss you forever. Whilst I often said to you I want us to live forever, I knew it would never be. But my wee Kitkat, you will live forever in my heart and soul.

We were truly blessed you chose to be with us. The life we had together was unforgettable, so many memories and so many laughs as well as lot of love. I will miss being able to squish you and will always expect to see you when I walk into our bedroom and in my heart you will always be there.

Sending you so much love my wee Kitkat. Rest well and know you will always be in my heart until we meet again.

Love Emma xx

There is so much more I can write, I have so many memories and each day was a true privilege to have her in our world. But my heart is broken at the moment and I need time to deal with our loss.

Today, hold your pets close, give them a huge hug and tell them how much you love them. Pets are family and their loss leaves a huge hole in your life. Navigating the loss is hard. But our love for them is great and I can’t imagine a world where we didn’t have pets.

My heart may be fragile at the moment, however, in time I know another cat will enter our life and we will begin the story again.

Take care, look after you. Love Emma xx