I had a wonderful time with my friend enjoying a relaxing spa day, We swam, used the sauna and steam room a few times, before I went to relax on a lounger whilst my friend continued swimming. I realised whilst getting comfy, I had forgotten a book or magazine to read. But that didn’t matter, it was lovely to people watch and have a wee snooze before getting a back, neck and shoulders massage.
What really fascinated me was noticing a few people reading and three people all in a row on their phones scrolling. I thought it was really funny as they were all together but not talking. It never occurred to me to take my phone into a relaxing space. I totally forgot to bring anything, but I know I wanted a break from the norm.
Observing these people made me think that perhaps this could be their only chance to get away from the day to day and it is their only opportunity to connect with the world. There are not on a schedule and therefore there is no time limit or anyone telling them to put their phones down to relax. To them, this is relaxing.
For others, reading a book or a magazine was their perfect way to relax. Getting stuck into a story or article is what unwinds them. There were two other people who were snoozing and despite the echoes from the pool, it was a relaxed atmosphere with people of all ages. We were all there to have a good time and get away from it all.
Unwinding from the daily grind is different for all of us. I have written numerous posts about taking time for yourself, relaxing and most importantly, what works for you, might not work for everyone.
This isn’t a post about putting your phone away or reading a book, or having a spa day. No. This is about giving ourselves permission to relax in the way that suits us best.
As I sat noticing the different people around me, I realised how easy it can be to make judgements. Is it just me or do we often have an image in our mind of what relaxation should look like? Perhaps it is sitting quietly with a book, or listening to calming music or even lying back and having a snooze. Many posts on social media, or magazine articles or even friends and people we know, give us advice as to how we should stop and switch off.
The truth is there probably isn’t a one best way to do this.
What feels restful and relaxing to one person might feel irritating and frustrating to another. Someone who spends all day surrounded by people may crave a book to let them fall into a story or put their music on and close their eyes. Whereas, someone who spends most of their time alone may find comfort in scrolling online to find out what their friends and people they know are doing. Equally you may love this time for you to catch up on all your messages, finding out what your friends have been up to and watching videos of your favourite people regardless of your job.
Sometimes we can be guilty of viewing things through our own experiences and ideas. I know I do it. For me I was looking for a break from any screens, I couldn’t imagine bringing my phone into the spa environment. Yet for someone else, they may have been reading an article, chatting with a loved one, planning a holiday or simply scrolling through something that made them smile.
Who am I to decide whether it is relaxing for them?
The more time passes, I realise wellbeing is less about following rules (do this, do that etc) and more about understanding ourselves. There is no checklist we can use to guarantee relaxation. There is no award for switching off and relaxing ‘correctly’. What matters is whether an activity helps us to recharge, rest and feel a little more like ourselves.
I often talk about taking time for yourself, but perhaps the most important part of the message is overlooked. Taking time for yourself is not about copying what works for somebody else. It is about listening to your own needs and fulfilling what works best for you.
Whilst at the spa, my version of relaxation was swimming in the pool, enjoying the heat of the sauna, people watching from a lounger and having a little snooze. Someone else’s was reading a book and other people’s involved a mobile phone. We were all there for the same reason, to relax, and we were all finding it in different ways.
Sitting there reminded me wellbeing is not one size fits all. Instead, what matters isn’t how relaxation looks from the outside but how it feels on the inside. If you feel happy and relaxed, you are doing it right and it doesn’t matter what your friends or people around you are doing. You do you.
As you go into this week, look around you and notice what people are doing to relax, with no judgement. You never know what you may discover.
Thank you for reading, have a lovely week and look after you.
Love Emma xx
