Being in the moment

I’m always thinking. Thinking about food, thinking about my life plans, thinking about Scott, family, friends, work, Kitkat our cat, the book I’m reading, tv shows I’m watching, anything really, my brain is constantly ticking over with something.

Scott has told me many a time to ‘stop thinking so much’, as I can get myself in a tiz by overthinking. But sometimes I just can’t switch off, and its frustrating. I’m sure it happens to you as well. Constant mind chatter. I wish there was a switch I could flick.

So what can I do to help with this overthinking…well focusing on the here and now, being in the moment as they say would be a start. Doing one thing and really enjoying what you are doing or focusing on it. You know what I mean, where you give it your attention 100%. There is nothing distracting you from it, you are immersing yourself wholly in it. The only thing I can equate this too is when I am reading a book and get so lost in the moment time just disappears and I’m in the story with the characters, I become part of their world. I love this, I love being in the moment there and that is easy for me.

Why is everything else, all my other enjoyments or past times or everything filled with distractions. I watch a movie, but a lot of the time I end up checking my phone, or think about something else. It annoys me that I am like this. I think I need to be kept busy, but I don’t know why. I am trying to be a human being rather than a human doing. Just be. I am wholeheartedly going to do my best to enjoy what I am doing and really pay attention to it from now on.

I hadn’t realised mindfulness isn’t just about being in the moment, but being aware of the feelings you are experiencing and taking in your surroundings – putting focus on your senses. From what I have read this is great for anxiety, stress and depression and also to help stop going over and over things in your mind. I will look into this further as it may be helpful to me. But I’m really talking more about enjoying what you are doing or at least focusing on what you are doing and giving it all your attention.

I find myself on a Monday, wishing it was the weekend and then every morning or evening counting down until it is Friday night. I just love the weekends, and want my time! But instead of doing this, I know I should be looking at what I’m doing and focusing on that. Even if it is something work related. And I do find I can give my focus to things once I get into it, but sometimes there is a piece of work to do that can be really hard to start. That is where I struggle to focus and my mind wonders to lunch, hobnobs, what I’m going to do after work, what will I eat for dinner, will I just go home and read, or watch The Marvelous Mrs Maisel! (Totally recommend this by the way!)

So what can I do to pull myself out of this and focus on what I am doing. Well years ago I read some advice that said if you had tasks to do but didn’t want to do them, then spend 5 minutes on it and move onto something else, then go back to it a while later and do 10 minutes. Then you just keep increasing it by 5 minute increments. I think the most I ever got to was 15 minutes because by then I would always get into it and end up working on it for as long as it needed or until I felt I needed to move onto something else. That helps with work!

When I go for a walk at lunchtime or at the weekend, I do try to enjoy it all, even if it is cold or windy or raining, just to experience it in that moment and not think about going back to the office or anything in the future, but instead look around me and enjoy it. We seem to enjoy the moment more so, when we are with friends and laughing and having fun. You aren’t focusing on what you are doing tomorrow or what Monday will bring.

Why do we think ahead?

I think it’s because there is always something to do, whether housework or catching up with friends, or finishing that book/movie/tv show, going out, exercise, gardening, housework etc. We put pressure on ourselves daily by saying ‘I need to’ or ‘I have to’. Do You? Do you really? Will the world fall apart if you don’t vacuum/dust/do the washing? No. We should do what makes us happy! We don’t have to be so prescriptive with ourselves. Take the pressure off and be happy with what you choose to do! Yes, there will be times when you have to do washing otherwise you will run out of clothes, but missing out doing it for a couple of nights is perfectly acceptable. So give yourself permission to just be and be happy.

I also think it is a guilt thing, instead of sitting and having a peppermint tea, reading peoples blogs or playing with the cat, we feel we should be busy doing something more useful. But all these things are useful. If they make you happy then that’s great and good for your wellbeing. We definitely shouldn’t feel bad about it. So let yourself off the hook and do something that allows you to be in your moment 100% and be happy.

At the time of writing this blog I am feeling 😄. Happy and Content. Check out my previous blog My Happy Scale to see what this means for me.

Have a lovely week and feel free to get in touch.

Look after you!

Emma

xx