Halloween has now passed for another year. It’s a spooky but fun time where we can enjoy some scary movies, costumes, fun and games, well this year it’s slightly quieter of course. Whilst we may not have ghosts haunting our house or lives, quite often there is something in our life that continues to haunts us. A memory, a dream, a moment in our life we wish could be forgotten.
We can all think of a time in our life that was awkward or embarrassing, which for the majority of our life stays hidden but will occasionally rear its ugly head from time to time. Maybe it’s something you once did at a works Christmas party or a weekend out with your friends or a silly thing you said to your boss and every time you think about it, it makes you cringe! It’s that unforgettable moment you just can’t shake off! And there is always someone who is happy to bring it up and keep the memory of it alive year after year.
How can we shake those ghost of the past that continue to haunt us? We may avoid going to parties, avoid the person or get rid of anything that reminds us of that time such as the top we were wearing or the photos, or we no longer go the restaurant. We do our best to forget it, but then something will trigger a memory and BOO, it’s in your thoughts. It is etched in our brain, probably forever, and we can’t seem to do anything about it. It haunts the depths of our memory.
What you have to remember is, we all have those moments we wish could be erased from our memory and everyone else’s, in a quick flash. You know, like they do in the movie Men In Black. Imagine that! A memory or moment erasure! But unfortunately, this is unlikely to ever happen, so instead, you are going to have to deal with it. Are you going to bury your head in the sand and try your hardest to forget it ever happened or do your utmost to lay it to rest?
Here are some things you can do to lessen the haunting of those memories:
Bury it! – Write it on a piece of paper, the bare bones of it, even just a couple of words will do, then write down how you felt at the time and how you feel now reliving it. Fold it up, then pop it under a flower or plant in the garden. Or pop it in the bottom of a plant pot, put some soil and then sow your favourite flower or plant seeds in it and watch as your awful moment blooms into something wonderful and you can say ‘if that moment hadnt happened, I wouldn’t have this beuatiful flower to show for it! Over time with watering and growth, your piece of paper will slowly disappear.
Laugh – So what, it was awful and re-living it makes you want to hide under your bed forever, but change the feeling you associate with it. Make it funny. We quite often say, ‘oh it’ll be something funny to tell the grand kids’ and in time, maybe we will genuinely see the funny side, but until then, laugh.
Re-write the story – OK, so it may not be true, but in a perfect world, how would you have wanted the moment to end? Turn it into a movie, think about who would play you and then how would their story play out. What characteristics do they have that you don’t that you can try to embody? Perhaps putting someone else into the haunting memory will make it forgettable and less awful for you.
Tell people how you feel – If it really is something you hate people bringing up and it leaves you feeling sick, awful or anxious. Let people know how it makes you feel and tell them you really would appreciate it, if they stopped bringing it up. They possibly hadn’t realised how much it has affected you.
Eventually people will forget and move on to the next thing. It will be yesterdays news and the haunting of you may only happen once in a while and over time it becomes less and less horrific for you to recount.
Whilst we may not have ghosts haunting our house or lives, quite often there is something in our life that continues to haunt us. If your memories are haunting you, look at why that may be. Why is it such a big deal? Is the memory being kept alive because you can’t let it go? Work through why this may be. Are you being unduly hard on yourself? Were you young and naive? The best piece of advice I was ever given was, ‘put it down to experience, and move on’. That is often, just what you need to do!
Don’t be haunted, just be you.
Thank you for reading, have a lovely week and take it easy! Look after you!
Love Emma xx 😁