Loss, Grief & Change

What a week! New Prime Minister, Queen dies and King appointed. That’s a lot to take in.

So much going on, it’s hard to know where you are with it all and how to process it.

I’ve found it all quite strange. Thursday night and all of Friday I was confused, all I kept saying was how weird it all was and felt. Most of us have only ever known the Queen, she may not have been someone I really ever thought about unless there was a celebration or event involving her in the news. But she was a constant. The Queen was just ‘there’.

Change is always hard, but I couldn’t help think about what the country would look like with a King. Even saying it felt weird. I mean to me the images a king conjures up is one of King Henry VIII with his big belly, robes and many wives. It’s oldy worldly.

Everyday items will change such as money and stamps, post boxes and Heinz with it’s regal labels. At least it is helping us to forget the cost of living crisis and energy bills. Perhaps not completely but as it isn’t splashed all over the news as it was, then it is easier to put it out of our mind.

Unexpected change is a challenge. Although we all knew this day would come, we perhaps didn’t really prepare for it. I mean, how much would it really affect us as individuals? Well I surprised myself, when I found myself crying watching the news coverage of it all. It felt like we had lost our Granny. I never met her or even came close, but it felt like a huge loss. What do we do now? I felt a huge well of emotion for her family, who at a time of grief and mourning, have to keep going for their country. They have all done so well and I can’t imagine how tough it must be to grieve publicly. Life goes on, but in the moment of loss, time stands still.

We’ve all lost someone and had to deal with grief, it is very personal. We go through it in our own way and it takes time to process all the emotions, from sadness to anger to acceptance. Whilst we will never truly accept death or certainly ‘get over it’. Time does heal. It helps us to keep going, reach an understanding that life truly is fleeting.

When you deal with loss, you have to go with your emotions and not fight it. Swallowing the lump in your throat and continuing with your day may be ok for now, but that emotion will come out at some point and whilst it could be never ending tears, it could also be destructive. There is no shame in ever grieving. People understand and don’t expect you to hold it together. If you need to cry, do it. Letting tears flow is cathartic, it helps you to release your emotion and there will be a point when tears won’t flow as much. There may always be tears as time passes by, but the good times had by the person will help you navigate the hurt.

Grief is there to guide you through the loss. It is a rollercoaster of emotion and it is the toughest one to ride. You can feel fine one minute then overcome by emotion the next. You can be good for days and then you see a photo of the person or hear a song they love and burst into tears. There are no rules with grief. It takes as long as it takes. Don’t rush to get back to normal as life is different, things will have changed. The loss of the person will leave a hole in your heart, you have to adjust to your life without them. So go day by day or hour by hour one step at a time.

As we navigate through this sad, strange time and welcome our new King. Remember, the country may be mourning the loss of the Queen, but any loss you have gone through or are going through is just as great. Our family and friends are our world, our constant.

Life changes when death occurs. Endings are new beginning. There is no going back but we have to learn to navigate our new surroundings and be ok with it. Sadness and loss are a part of life we never get used to, so be kind to yourself and take the time you need.

Take care and look after you this week.

Love Emma xx