Feeling Uncomfortable

When was the last time you felt uncomfortable? It may be having an awkward conversation, watching a true life drama/documentary, being an observer to a public argument, being in a crowd, working in a new role, asking for help or directions, the list is endless. It could also be as simple as wearing uncomfortable clothes.

Whilst I was out for a walk, I passed a skate park. It’s fairly small but there is usually always some kids in there playing. This time there was a wee boy standing with his scooter at the entrance. He appeared to be hesitating. Unsure whether to go in and join the other children playing. He waited a while and then left. I felt sad. Why didn’t he go in and play? I don’t know this boy, and there will likely be many reasons as to why he didn’t feel comfortable in being in the skate park. Perhaps it was too busy, he didn’t want to interrupt the other children, maybe he didn’t know them or didn’t like them. Whatever his reason, he walked away.

We’ve all had a time where walking away seems like the best option, sometimes it may be the only option. Other times it may be the easiest option. Why feel uncomfortable in a situation, when you can walk away and feel better for it?

When should you walk away and when should you push through the awkward feelings?

What about a situation like the boy, you are an outsider, but want to go in and join the rest of the people there. Sometimes, you just have to take a couple of deep breaths, put one foot in front of the other and go for it. Think about the possibilities, you could end up speaking to like minded people, become firm friends, learn skills, share stories, help each other out. Equally you may find that no one speaks to you and you are left to your own devices. But you don’t know until you take that risk. A few moments of feeling uncomfortable and unsure, could lead to great friendships, stories and a world of fun.

If it didn’t work out and you were left on your own, don’t let it get to you. Pat yourself on your back for putting yourself into that awkward place and pushing through. If you can do it once, you can do it again.

I was on a night out with work and just as I bought my last drink, the people I was sitting with, left. Had I known this, I wouldn’t have bothered with a drink. But one of them did say to speak to the people at the other table as they worked in our building. So brave me, went up and said hello, I said where I worked and they said hello and invited me to join them. They were nice guys and we chatting away. I left after finishing my drink.

I pushed past feeling uncomfortable, where I could have easily stood at the bar and had a drink. I did feel incredibly awkward as the 5 of them were on a night out and didn’t expect it to be crashed by some random.

Sometimes just having the uncomfortable feeling is a good thing to push us out of our comfort zone and into a wonder zone. Remember your comfort zone, mine and everyone’s will be different. So what feels excruciatingly uncomfortable to one person may be a normal everyday occurrence to you.

At the height of my anxiety, going to a shop was the hardest thing to do. I felt so uncomfortable, anxious and afraid. I had to relearn that it was ok and I would be alright. If you think about how many people are going in and out of a shop daily, without even thinking about it, it blew my mind that I was unable to do this as I had done for the many years before. Being in that moment whilst I was struggling and deciding whether to push on or turn around was difficult. I took it a day at a time and could only go with how I felt on that day. Thankfully, I do not feel like this anymore, but I will never take going into a supermarket for granted again.

If you know the benefits of being in the uncomfortable zone will outweigh the negatives, then you will more likely do it. Fear often gets in the way and knowing nothing bad has happened after our leap of faith will give us a wee mental boost and make us more likely to push on next time.

If a situation is life threatening, abusive or makes you feel violated in anyway, then leave. I know it is not that simple and doing it is much harder than saying it. But ultimately, you need to look after you and take the necessary steps to do so. This will push you so far out of your comfort zone, it will be difficult to comprehend, however your life deserves to be the best and other people should never make you feel less than.

As you go through your week, notice when you feel uncomfortable and what your reaction is. Do you have an immediate one? Sit with the uncomfortableness for a while, and decide whether to push on past or to leave it.

Thank you for reading, have a great week.

Look after you. Love Emma xx