Have you ever woken up feeling alright but then about an hour or so after you just feel blue? You know the feeling where Sadness is there and like the film Inside Out, you just can’t seem to shake it off, because Joy has become stuck elsewhere. The wire to you brain has just been cut off and you are left with the feeling that your head is stuck in syrup and you just cant get out of the bit.
As I have said before I am usually a happy person and I tend to be fairly level at this emotion. But this week for a few days or so I had this cloud above me that wouldn’t shift but kept drenching me in sadness. It certainly wasn’t part of my usual cycle, and I just felt off, not right, blugh and just down in the dumps.
The more the first day went on, the sadder I felt, my husband was working late all week, busy with work and had been away the few weeks before on business and I started feeling alone. Now, I love my own company and can fill my time quite easily, I am an introvert and so being on my own is usually not a bother. I can fill my time after work with running, cooking, reading, yoga, relaxing and TV, so realistically I was fine. But I couldn’t see past my blues.
It all came to a head when on Thursday I couldn’t stop going over and over things and I couldn’t shake the alone feeling. I was on the verge of tears throughout my morning and everything was starting to overwhelm me. I knew I needed to get my head out of the syrup and my heart out of the blues so at lunchtime I went for my usual walk and called my husband. I burst into tears and let my blues out to Scott who was surprised but also understanding, giving me a sympathetic ear to let it all out. He told me I was overthinking – which I had been – and to talk to him which I did and I did feel much better after saying what was on my mind. He was right, sometimes when I have sad days, I retreat into my head and just don’t stop thinking. I can tie myself in knots and get myself no where. And it can be over nothing.
After my reassuring phone call, my emotions started to lift, by late afternoon I was feeling ok and was just looking forward to getting a hug from Scott when he got home. By Friday evening I was feeling back to my usual self and less syrup-ie!
Thinking about the week, and how a thought can turn you from generally happy to sad. It is really important to talk, communicate, speak to people. You may not know why you are feeling sad at the time, but by chatting and telling someone how you feel, it may make sense and become clear. If I had just let Scott know that I was feeling blue the first day and felt alone, then it may have saved me from being emotionally blocked and frustrated the days afterwards. It was pent up sadness and frustration and I didn’t know what to do, how to feel and what to say.
We often think it is easier to keep our feelings and thoughts to ourselves, to push them to the back of our mind and not look to burden anyone with them. However, by suppressing them we are essentially trying to forget our feelings exist. But we shouldn’t. We need to feel, it makes us human, real and alive. We have feelings and emotions and we should express them, otherwise how do others know!
I’m usually really good at feeling my feelings, I let them flow and go with them, this week my head was in charge and it thought better of it. But you can’t be hard on yourself when this happens, let it go and then take a look at where the hold back came in, what was it that made you stop feeling? Was it a particular moment, day or was it a thought that triggered it. Whatever it was, think about the next time that thought occurs, how you will deal with it and how you can let the feelings flow? So next time I feel lonely, I’ll mentally check it as maybe all I am missing is my husband and a hug, or just because I have been spending a lot of time with just me and need to speak with my friends. I need to look further than the thoughts I am having. I would very much say I have been feeling a mixture of ☹️ and 😩 this week.
To help me get out of feeling sad, I pushed myself into exercise, I went for an extra run, pushed myself to walk each lunchtime and yesterday went for an amazing long walk over the Forth Road Bridge, which certainly lifted my spirits and blew any cobwebs away. I felt amazing and happy afterwards. Exercise certainly helped me to beat the blues. We are all different so for you beating the blues could be doing some knitting, pottery, diy, swimming or anything. Do what is right for you, we are all different and NEVER be ashamed to be the real you and do what makes your heart sing.
I hope when you feel blue, you are just riding the storm and knowing that you will come out the other side within a couple of days. If feeling blue is going on longer than usual or you just cant get your head out of the syrup then speak to a friend, someone in your family or go and speak to your doctor. You shouldn’t feel ashamed to talk things through. Sometimes we all need a helping hand to get through the sad times and there is nothing wrong with this.
Don’t ever be afraid to ask for help.
Take care of yourself and Look after you!