As Autumn unfolds and the leaves start to turn beautiful colours, we observe as they fall from the trees and land softly on the ground. The leaves pile up as the tree say farewell to them whether by a gust of wind or it being their time to drop and let go. Allowing us to acknowledge, winter is just around the corner.
The leaves and the trees move on, the leaves get blown away, mushed into the ground to be part of it as they have served their purpose. Now, obviously, the trees and leaves don’t mourn each other. They move forward and the life cycle continues.
We go about our day and notice the changes in seasons, observing the beautiful colours and wonderful sights that surround us. We feel the chill in the breeze and wrap up warm, enjoying that hot cuppa as the wind whirls up the leaves that have fallen making the distinct rustling noise.
The seasons come and go and we don’t question it, we accept and move forward with them. We get our warm clothes out of the wardrobe and dress to keep the chill away, or we get our light summer dress on to keep us cool. What can we take from all this, what does the autumnal landscape show us? Is it saying it’s ok to let go and move on?
Are you holding onto something? Is it a grudge, or anger, or sentiment or resentment? Are you fed up of it being there and marring all that you do? The little voice at the back of your head nipping at you and making sure you don’t forget? But why? What happened in the first place that has made you keep this point close? Why is it so important? Or has it just been going on so long now that you’ve forgotten how to be without it?
I want you to write it down, the main points or the whole story, but put it onto paper. Now read it back and write down why it feels so important to you? Here’s a simple example, your best friend stole your boyfriend when you were younger. It’s important to you because you’d never have done that to her and it hurt. So you hold that grudge and never move on from it, so when you hear her name or she talks to you, you can feel the anger build up inside. As you never spoke about it properly at the time, you are stuck in a loop in the past that never moves on, it just keeps churning round.
So what can we do to get out of the loop and like a leaf, let go and just let it fall to the ground in our mind and become part of our past?
Certain things, such as trauma can be so heavy and dark they will not leave us and we need to get help to cope and come to terms with. In these situations its about finding the techniques that work best for you such as counselling. I would always recommend getting professional help when dealing with any kind of trauma.
This post is more about the small things, which may have seemed so huge at the time, now, are not so and after writing it down, may even be ridiculous. How can you break the cycle? Well ask yourself the following questions:
- What new information can you take from the situation now?
- If the situation happened today, would you react differently?
- Is it holding you back in life?
- Has it served its purpose?
- Is it a habit which you are holding on to?
- Will you get the answer/apology/forgiveness/outcome that you want?
- What would it take to let it go?
Write the answers down particularly to the last one, for example if you are waiting for an apology, be realistic, as it may never happen. But you could always write a letter to yourself and be understanding as to why you have held onto things for so long.
Once you have finished, take the paper you have written upon and tear it into tiny pieces. Making sure you are inside your house, (you will need to vacuum up afterwards) whilst throwing the pieces of paper into the air say ‘Holding onto these feelings no longer serve me’, I am allowing myself to let go, be free and move forward.’ As the paper falls like leaves around you and as they land, imagine them becoming part of the ground and part of your past. The aim is to stop thinking it becoming all consuming, so even if there is a small shift in your mind, it’s a start. Repeat as often as you need!
Holding onto things isn’t always a bad thing, it only becomes negative if you are weighed down by it and its on a loop, and you cannot break the cycle. But like the autumn leaves that fall, letting go means moving forward. We can all do this.
I hope you all have a lovely week, take care and look after you!
Love Emma xx 😃🍁🍂