We have several seagulls appearing each spring and summer at my office. They come each year, nest, lay their eggs, get territorial, swoop at anyone they feel gets too close and by autumn they disappear.
This year, nothing appears unusual. They go about their business and all of us at work go about ours.
One day this week, just before I left work, I noticed one of them sitting on the grass. Whilst it was a bit odd, quite often pigeons and magpies will sit on the ground enjoying the warmth. It was moving and almost looked like it was getting comfy.
When I arrived at work the next morning and looked out of the window, the seagull was still there. But this time, it wasn’t moving and sadly, it had died.
I felt awful, if only I had gone to check it when I left work. If only I could have helped it. So many “If only’s” but none of them would change a thing. I would never want an animal or person to die alone or in pain. If I could help, then I would. If ever there is a next time I will check on the bird.
I have been thinking about the seagull and how, from the outside all looked well. But looking closely, it clearly was not. Animals will struggle on and endure so much, hiding it well. This seagull was clearly suffering, but chose to be at peace with it.
How often has something looked good on the outside? A relationship? A job? Success? But if you were to look closely or dig a bit deeper, it wouldn’t be. There would be cracks, holes, disruption. Not everything that looks perfect is. In fact, most things aren’t. We can think of something as perfect but a closer look at the detail would likely show the flaws.
Taking a look at our own lives, is there something you are hiding? Something you are not putting on show in order to create the façade all is ok in your world?
Maybe you dislike your body shape and are doing everything you can to feel good, on the outside you laugh off comments, and pretend like you don’t care. Or perhaps you hate your job. The people, the politics and the pressure. You want to leave and are secretly looking for something else. Yet you show up on time, do your best, smile and say how much you enjoy it. Everyone is impressed with your role or place of work or title, but you couldn’t care less.
Think of the photos you see on social media. You are looking at a snapshot into people’s lives. You look at it and see the perfect life. But the reality is, the photo taken is a split second in the person’s life, it doesn’t tell you everything about them. You cannot see behind the curtain. Nobody has a perfect life. Everyone has something they keep to themselves. This is normal human behaviour.
So, why aren’t we good at telling the truth to ourselves or to others? Why do we want others to think our lives are awesome, meaningful and we are happy? Why do we feel the need to present to the world this Disney movie-esque version of ourselves and our life?
There is nothing wrong with this. I imagine, the majority of us are happy most of the time or often enough and we don’t notice until we are unhappy. We go about our day and don’t think about the things we hide. Although are we really hiding something if everyone is hiding part of themselves?
Maybe it means none of us are being honest and we are all living life in a similar way. Perfectly imperfect. Our imperfections are not failures, but are part of who we are. No-one is perfect.
Only you can say why you are not showing your whole self to the world. Only you can choose to be honest about how you feel about your job, body, relationships. But don’t feel bad for holding things back. It’s hard to put all of yourself out there.
One thing to think about, if you opened up to one person and told them how you really feel, would that be a bad thing?
By doing so, you might encourage them to share a hidden part of themselves too.
We may never reveal our whole truth, as it’s difficult and makes us vulnerable. But perhaps, it is better to be honest, than be like the poor seagull, alone and brave.
Thank you for reading, have a great week and look after you.
Love Emma xx
Wellbeing with Relaxing Lavender 